Having Faith

A week ago I had all the faith in the world that we were going to get a new house and now I'm not so sure. We are waiting on the call from the bank to let us know if we will get the loan (we have been preapproved for it, but it was all ultimately dependent on the bank appraisal). We found out Monday that we might not be able to get the loan. The reason?? Because there is a mother in law suite on the property and the loan is only for a single resident property. We were suppose to receive a phone call from the bank today, but we didn't. It's been a long day waiting for that phone to ring. Hopefully we'll find out tomorrow. From the beginning it seemed like this was completely from God because of the way it all happened (you can read the whole story here). I still believe this is from God, but will admit it's a test of faith.

Another area that I'm struggling in having faith is with my job. I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but we've never been able to afford that financially. Pat was in school the first 2 years of Wyatt's life and then as a chef he doesn't make a lot of money. This school year was the first year I was able to work part time  and I loved it! Yes, money was tight. Yes, there were things we lived without. Was it worth it?? Most defintely!!! I've been able to focus on my family more, enjoy some special times with Wyatt before he starts Kindergarten in the fall, and bond with Gavin in these early months. Last year God completely provided for everything. I prayed one evening for another teacher to be provided and that it would be 2nd grade (I was suppose to go to 1st and was not too keen on that idea!). The next morning when I arrived at school God had completely answered that prayer with a resounding YES! But, it's not turning out that way so far for next school year. As of now, I don't have another person to job share with for next school year. And honestly, I don't want to go back full time because I'd love to have the extra time at home with Gavin while Wyatt is at school. I know I have to keep trusting God in this, but it's admittedly hard to do.

As I was reading Wyatt a Bible Devotion to him tonight the verse for the particular story was

"Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for a child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!" Isaiah 49:15 (NLT).

God has not forgetten me! If we don't get this house, He still has something out there for us. If I don't get a teaching partner He'll make a way for me to still have all the time I need with my babies. But, I will keep praying and I will keep praising God no matter how it turns out.

Praise You In This Storm
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus